Haven't been posting for a while.... then suddenly this morning inspiration comes to my mind....
Topic of the day is : kindness. Recently I stumbled across my friend's friend's blog post about the kindness of strangers in Singapore. You can read about it here (http://xprsso.wordpress.com/2009/03/11/the-kindness-of-strangers).
This morning I have my own similar experience... it was raining pretty hard this morning, and during the 5 minute walk from the MRT to my office, there was this girl who didn't carry an umbrella and braved the rain. She was first to reach the traffic light junction and I was right behind her. I was going to offer her to share the umbrella, but for a second there I thought about the blog post and how girls react to this kind of offer. On the other hand, offering a ride on your car in the middle of nowhere and offering to share an umbrella in the rain are two different situations. I hesitated, and luckily there was another woman who came and shared her umbrella with the girl.
So it got me thinking.... I've always tried my best to be kind/helpful to people that I know. However, there are certain unwritten rules of society that prevents me from being nice. Especially because I'm a guy. Most girls don't believe that a guy can just be nice without having an ulterior motive. Well, maybe most guys do that, but trust me, some guys are just plain nice and helpful. What is wrong with being that way?
However, looking at the other side of the coin, I can understand where this stereotype thinking is coming from. There are just too many cases of kindness gone wrong. It's a harsh world out there, and it's better to be safe than sorry.
And this leads to the never ending cycle..... because of this thinking, guys stop being nice, and girls thinks that guys are just arrogant and doesn't act all gentleman-ly.
Another interesting aspect about this 'incident' is.... what if it's reversed? Would I take the offer if someone offers to share an umbrella in the pouring rain? Although, in the first place, there is very little chance that I would be caught in the rain without an umbrella (helloo, it's Singapore!), but I think it depends on who is offering the umbrella :
1. Another guy
Chance of happening : 0.1%
Result : Unless it's hailing ice cubes, most likely NO. I mean, guys are born with ego the size of planet earth.
2. A normal looking girl
Chance of happening : 0.2%
Result : I wouldn't mind.... better than getting soaked.
3. Angelina Jolie
Chance of happening : 0.00000001%
Result : A definite YES ^_^
What do YOU think? Leave comments for discussion :)
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ReplyDeleteAnd why do you pick my Angelina Jolie? :)
ReplyDeleteIf i am not in a hurry, or if i don't bring my umbrella ella ella which is low possibility, i'd prefer to have myself sheltered inside the mall. It's SG, shelter is everywhere :)
In addition, since i grew up in Jakarta, pretty much a tough city, it is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED to be safe, or yes, u'll be sorry. Most of the times, we NEED to be ignorant, although i'm sure you will be battling with your own conscious.
But another point is, i still believe that there's reward awaits you for being kind, and there are still people who need our helping hands. So, don't stop being the good guy, hehe..
I've been there before. I was thinking of share my umbrella to this wet old lady. I kept on thinking... and thinking... and thinking... Until suddenly the traffic light turned green, and she started to run. I felt so sorry until about a week after that.
ReplyDeleteI think it's not about men or women. But, we always hold ourselves from being kind, because we're not ready to be rejected.
if that happens again, think about yourself. If that would make you feel good then do it. as simple as that and yes, selfishness is so underrated ;)
ReplyDeletexoxo
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